


Adventures in Babysitting

by prettybirdy979



Series: Trope Bingo Fills [6]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 06:46:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/884192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettybirdy979/pseuds/prettybirdy979
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John's promised Mike he'll babysit. Sherlock is dragged along. Chaos insures.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adventures in Babysitting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tiltedsyllogism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiltedsyllogism/gifts), [PipMer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PipMer/gifts).



> For the Kid Fic square in my trope bingo. Thanks to tiltedsyllogism and PipMer for the suggestion behind this!

A puff of smoke came from the kitchen. John looked up, pausing in his hunt for his keys and phone.

‘Sherlock?’ He called out gently. ‘You okay?’

Sherlock came out of the kitchen, his eyes bright and a wide beam on his goggle covered face. ‘Of course John! I have just proved that the traces of explosives were planted as the amount of explosive the-’

‘You are playing with explosives.’

‘Yes! And-’

As Sherlock started to ramble on, John made a snap decision. He pulled the goggles off Sherlock’s face, removed his gloves and tracked down the man’s coat, wallet and keys while Sherlock continued to detail his experiment. John helped him into his coat as he turned off the bunsen burner in the kitchen then lead the man down the stairs and had Sherlock hail a taxi.

Sherlock talked the entire time.

Ten minutes into the trip, he blinked as if his surroundings had just registered. ‘John, why am I in a taxi?’

‘We’re going out.’

Sherlock frowned as he reviewed the last fifteen minutes in his memory. ‘I agreed to it?’

‘You got into the taxi with me. That’s more agreement than I usually give you.’ John smirked.

‘Anglo’s?’ Sherlock asked in his ‘I’m only asking because you say it’s polite and I can’t be bothered disagreeing’ tone.

‘Stamford’s.’ John corrected and took pride in the way Sherlock’s face screwed up as he tried to deduce why they were going there.

Sherlock’s eyes widened in panic as it dawned on him. ‘No. No. John, I refuse.’

John grabbed his hand before he could attract the attention of the driver. ‘You owe me. We’re looking after two kids, for three hours. They’ll be asleep in two.’

Sherlock glared but didn’t say anything.

********

‘John! It’s good to see you. Thank you so much for doing this.’ Stamford said as he opened the door and patted John’s shoulder. ‘And Sherlock! I didn’t expect you to come.’

‘Nor did I.’ Sherlock said as he brushed past. ‘Where are the-’

‘Sherlock.’ John warned as he entered the house.

‘-children.’ Sherlock said, his tone making it clear that that was not what he was going to say or what he meant. John offered Mike an apologetic smile which caused the other man to beam.

‘They’re in the dining room. Honey! John’s here.’

A tall, blonde woman with a roundness that matched Mikes came from the other room. ‘John! Nice to meet you. I’m Hayley.’

John shook her hand. ‘I know, Mike’s mentioned you. A lot.’

She blushed. ‘All good things, I hope?’

‘The best.’ John said and Sherlock made a dismissive sound which attracted her attention. Hayley’s face fell slightly at the sight of him.

‘Sherlock Holmes, I pressume?’

‘Correctly, yes.’ Hayley shot her husband a nervous look.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he doesn’t get into trouble.’ John reassured.

Hayley’s smile at that was strained but she allowed her husband to help her into her coat and left after Mike had given minimal instructions to John regarding bedtime (half six for four year old Freddy and half seven for seven year old Jessie) and food (already had dinner, dessert is in the freezer and nothing else except water no matter how much begging).

Freddy had somehow ended up in Sherlock’s arms and he was holding the boy out from his body like it was a bomb. ‘Now what?’

‘Ice cream!’ Jessie screamed and Freddy started to squirm.

********

‘Want ice cream!’ Freddy screamed at Sherlock. Sherlock looked down at him, then over at John who had declared that Freddy was Sherlock’s responsibility while he helped Jessie into her pajamas after they had finished dessert.

‘You had ice cream.’ Sherlock said, trying for a reasonable tone.

The child did not appreciate this reasonableness. ‘Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream!’ The cries devolved into unintelligible screaming.

‘Be quiet. Stop it. Why are you screaming? You can’t have ice cream!’ Nothing Sherlock said seemed to shut the horrible noise up. Finally an idea occurred to him. ‘If I give you ice cream, will you stop?’

The level of noise decreased by a minute amount. It was enough confirmation. Sherlock pulled the wriggling, screaming thing into his arms and headed for the kitchen. The screaming stopped the moment they crossed the threshold of the kitchen and Sherlock smiled at his correct deduction.

********

John found them in the lounge room fifteen minutes later. Sherlock was watching in horror as Freddy ran round and round the room making aeroplane noises.

‘You gave him sugar.’ John said simply, Jessie giggling at her brother from beside John.

‘I gave him ice cream.’ Sherlock corrected as Freddy brushed past the television. He lunged for it and managed to stop it falling.

‘Same thing. His bedtime is in five minutes, do you think he’ll calm down by then?’

Sherlock watched the hyper up toddler do another lap and then Jessie decided to join in the fun. ‘I believe there is a low probability of getting either child to bed soon. Have fun.’

He went to leave but John grabbed him. ‘You will stay, you will help or so help me you’ll not be able to keep an experiment in our kitchen.’

Sherlock met his eyes. ‘You wouldn’t.’

‘Try me.’ John stared Sherlock down until with a dramatic sigh, Sherlock turned and faced the circling children.

‘Let’s play a game.’ He said in an obnoxiously high pitched voice. Both kids stopped running to share at him in horror. ‘No? Not good. Okay.’ He dropped back into his normal voice. ‘We are going to play a game.’

‘A fun one?’ Jessie asked.

‘A useful one. John, find something to hide. You two come with me. We’re going to sit in the kitchen, John will hide something and we’ll come back in and find it. Without looking.’

Jessie’s eyes widened, even as she and her brother followed Sherlock into the kitchen. ‘How?’

‘Science.’ Sherlock said, unknowingly using the same tone most adults say ‘magic’ in when speaking to children.

********

‘See how he’s standing on this side of the room and looking directly at us?’ Jessie nodded and Freddy copied her. ‘He’s trying to make us think it’s here when it’s not. Now Jessie, remember what I told you?’

She smiled and moved over to the sofa. John raised an eyebrow at her. ‘Not here?’ She asked Sherlock.

‘Not there.’ He confirmed.

Freddy pointed at the television and John hid a small smile. ‘Not there!’ Jessie declared. She knelt by the coffee table and John glanced at Sherlock. ‘Here!’ She reached under and pulled out her stuffed tiger.

‘Again! Again!’ Freddy demanded as Jessie rushed the tiger over to Sherlock.

Sherlock smiled.

********

‘Are they asleep?’ Sherlock wheezed from his position, collapsed half on Mike’s sofa, half on the floor.

‘Finally. Only took ten games of find the tiger, three glasses of water, one ‘potty’ trip and five stories.’

‘You don’t get to claim the stories.’ Sherlock managed to say, his voice barely there after the children had discovered he was excellent at mimicking voices and demanded he read all their books with them. John had spirited Sherlock out of the room after the fifth book when it appeared they weren’t going to let him ever stop.

‘Wasn’t.’ John collapsed into the chair beside him.

‘Tell me this is a once off.’

‘It’s a once off.’

‘Liar.’

John sighed. ‘Unfortunately.’


End file.
